200 days to Antarctica..."I Don't Feel Like Dancin' " Scissor Sisters


 Approximately 7 minutes reading time

“Once you make a decision the universe conspires to make it happen” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hello, I hope that your week has been a good one.

Happy Horse’s Birthday!

I love Disco. I love Dance. I love this song. Schrodie and I have danced to it loads this week as I have needed the extra injection of energy and inspiration. It has been marvelous and made me look forward to finally going home when my new house is ready and dancing under my Disco Ball. I remind myself of Ralph Waldo Emerson’s words to keep me going through the daily challenges that grip my life.

We had a great walk with friends today then lunch. The weather was fine until it turned wet and freezing cold. Yesterday and Friday were glorious, sunny, warm days just like Spring. We were expecting the cold to return and it is here again. We are rugged up and cosy inside with the heating on because it’s absolutely freezing. My friend lives down near our home and it has been minus six degrees Celsius and colder. This is as expected, given it has been minus two degrees Celsius at 8am here lately and regularly. Thankfully our Covid Restrictions are not as great as those in Sydney at the moment.

Not sure if there has been any progress with my home build this week. The Site Supervisor didn’t contact me for my weekly update, as usual. There has been no quote for retaining wall and fence repairs were scheduled so hopefully these jobs are scheduled to be completed but not without at least an acceptable quote or more for the retaining wall. Although I was anticipating the roof going on this week, I have not as yet received the bill for ($96,000) ninety six thousand dollar bill so it is unlikely my new house has a roof. I hope that I am wrong.

On Monday I took my car to the Smash Repairers to finally restore her from the kiss with a Semi-trailer during the Bushfires. I got a call on Tuesday to tell me that the damage was worse than anticipated, which was not surprising to me given that a semi-trailer going 110km (one hundred and ten kilometres) per hour smashed into the back of her. We only survived because of my quick wit and ability to function under pressure; I had sped up out of his way. The boot needs replacing and the part is coming from Melbourne. Covid lockdowns mean that it will take four to five days for the part to arrive and another four days for restoration. Hopefully I will have my car back on Friday.

As the threat of Covid worsens I have finally booked in for my Pfizer Vaccine. It seemed that there were no vaccines available until October. I was surprised given my conversation with Medical Centre Receptionist on Friday. I persisted then was told that there would be delays with my second shot, this was the assumption made by the staffer when I tried to book my appointment. As it is my first shot my appointment is at 7.40am on Friday. I hope it doesn’t rain as I must walk.

Without a car I was unable to attend my guitar lesson and will miss it again this week. Luckily my team-mates picked me up and dropped me home so that I could attend Trivia both nights. We all wear masks but still have fun and win. I so love winning, it is an absolute bonus. We play for fun. It is sharpening up my mind after losing last year to critical illnesses and traumas after having my life stolen by the bushfire. This improvement and restoration makes me very happy. The medications and surviving Chemotherapy also took their toll. Coming off the Lyrica made a huge difference. I am playing puzzles and word games and lots of trivia to help restore my memory and function, it is working. 

Tomorrow I reduce my daily Prednisone dose (steroid) from five milligrams (5mg) to four milligrams (4mg) as part of my weaning off the drug. I forgot to change my dose today. By December I will be off this horrible drug and I cannot wait. I am almost drug free.

This week I have given myself a break from all my exercises as well so as not to aggravate my ulnar nerve. I am trying not to take pain killers although I have succumbed to taking Ibuprofen for my Migraines. Nausea, reflux and coughing, temperature changes have become symptoms with which I need to deal on a daily basis. I got a really bad cold sore even after taking the anti-viral. I have been feeling faint and weak. I am exhausted and am sure that it is from a culmination of increasing daily stress and pressure. The Covid situation has been a trigger for some sadness as it reminds me of everything that happened last year and the losses I suffered. I am so grateful that I am not locked in the house anymore. I am incredibly grateful that I can still have fun and laugh every day and spend time with others, especially those I love. More than anything, as always, I am grateful for Schrodie and his marvelous company. He makes me laugh every day.

This week I have not spent time with Johnny, my guitar. My ulnar nerve has felt irritated, causing pain in my elbow, shoulder and hand. There is some discomfort as well. My feet have been uncomfortable as the nerves repair and they have been freezing. I am okay but have not been feeling great. There are so many things weighing on me, the list seems endless as the more I do, the more there seems to be left to complete. I juggle tasks needing completion regarding my home and life, as well as various writing deadlines. One task at a time. The challenges are many. I am working so hard. I am so busy every day. Waiting and Rejections are weighing on me, which was never before an issue for me. I am fighting the urge to get everything done now as I remind myself that restoring my body, strength and overall vigour are paramount and my most important objectives. Everything else can wait. Unfortunately I missed Meditation again but I am still doing my own.

Financial Management and Cashflow are a constant challenge. I have been researching my options for fixtures that I need in my new home before I can return. Landscaping and other outdoor requirements also need to be addressed. I have spoken with a property lawyer about representation regarding my other eighty metre (80 m) boundary fence. Although the expense will be onerous it will be worthwhile to restore my yard so that it is safe, secure and private. My neighbours cannot be allowed to extort money from me and take advantage of my vulnerability.

Although my other neighbour did not follow the legal process for erecting a fence without my agreement, selfishly and I was not liable to pay for the cost of the fence, I chose to pay my full fifty percent. Path of least resistance. This is all incredibly stressful. Such a shame that my neighbours are the type of people that they are, especially given the overwhelming care from people all across the world. I lost everything. My neighbours lost fencing. My house burnt down in part because of my neighbours whose filth and rubbish stacked along my fenceline provided a wick for the fire to run along all my paling fencing to my home. My home was closer to the street and fire than both my neighbours. Legal Representation means that I do not need to deal with my neighbours which is a welcome relief. Money gives options which bring comfort and joy. Although I am in a financial quagmire at present this expense is important and worthwhile. Thus my other decisions will need to reflect this expense with more careful budgeting and research so that my home becomes what I want and need for us to live happily in our space every day. Australian’s have a saying that “good fences make great neighbours”, indeed, I wholeheartedly agree. Most domestic disputes in Australia between neighbours are over fences and trees. If people were respectful these would not be issues at all. This has been and continues to be incredibly stressful. I cannot wait until the legal dispute is resolved and I can have nothing to do with my neighbours. My issue is about so much more than the fence and will impact my life in the longer term so it needs to be addressed correctly. Costs are not just financial and these are the most important to me.

One breathe at a time. One task at a time. One step at a time. I line up my ducks and am closer to achieving my major goals. Every small goal is a win and a step closer to achieving everything I want for my present and future. The dance of one step forward, nine steps back continues but so do I and the backwards steps are slowly diminishing. I fight disillusionment constantly. 

This week I enlisted the help of “The Durrells” the British television series which I love, to inspire me, and they have not disappointed. It's based on a true story. In one episode Louisa's judgmental, posh English Aunt, a snob, refers to her new Swedish Fiance, who is a vet and goat farmer who plays the accordion as a squeeze-box playing goat herder. The snobbery and judgement are appalling. However, I related to Louisa's experience of ending up with a man who in England would not be deemed a suitable suitor. I do not believe there is any shame in good, honest work whatever form it takes. After my tree-change and last years horrors I fell in love and love a man who pushed his way into my life to play my Hero. He was and will remain my Hero, Always, despite everything. A man who was from a different world, who would never have previously been able to get close to me. Strangely, despite it all, this mattered not. How life and experience can change us. I couldn't help but laugh. The other irony for me is that this man caused me the greatest trauma of my life which left me completely crippled and almost killed me. Too bad my tastes changed but fortunately my boundaries and standards did not. A man who does not honour his word does not honour himself. Most especially when his word and promises were volunteered and unexpected. A man who does not honour himself cannot and will not honour anyone else. A man without honour is not a man. Louisa's beau, was using her as a 'beard' (as I've heard it called) to hide his homosexuality in 1935. 

I do not care about the Olympics as I did once and haven't watched anything except when I've been out.

Today I have cooked a baked risoni (orzo) with pork loin chops and tomatoes. It smells delicious and I am happy with its mouth-watering and tangy flavour. It is hearty and warming. Such a quick and easy, nutritious and healthy meal. It is also inexpensive. I have made two tasty portions. It beckons me. Antarctica too calls my name and hopefully in two hundred (200) days I will make my lifelong dream a reality, if Covid does not cause another delay.

Thank you for your company. I hope that this has interested, inspired and/or helped you in some small way. Please let me know if there is something of particular interest or specific that I can help you with in future posts or privately via email. If you want and /or need more inspiration, please read my other posts and pages filled with my beaten challenges, heroes and inspirations.

Take care, stay safe, happy and well.

My next pages will be posted on Wednesday and Friday.

Until next Sunday with my next post, I bid the adieu.....

Watch this space....

 

 

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